Wednesday, June 25, 2008

An Open Letter

Dear Banking Institution,

Why is it so wrong for a girl like me to have cash in her wallet? Literally, cold hard cash...in...my...wallet.

I'll set the stage.

So two weeks ago Paul noticed some extra charges on our checking account. He called, they removed them but told him, "cut up both your ATM cards. I'm sending out two new cards."

A week and a half later (can you imagine going a week and a half without an ATM card???) Paul gets his card in the mail. No card for Tara. The next day he calls our bank to see what's up. Oh, they never sent my card. I have to call them myself. Would have been nice to know 10 days ago before you lied and said you were sending it!!

Fine, I'll call. I'm super busy, on my way out of the house, but I'll call while I'm driving. I have with me, no account number and no ATM card. That's ok, it's my account. My social security number or birthday or address or husband's info oughtta clear the security, right? WRONG! The questions they asked were excruciatingly specific.

Banker:
When and how much was your last deposit?

Me
Um, I can't answer that because I didn't know I had to study my statement before getting in the car to go to dinner!

Banker:
Ok, how about your last Bill Pay transaction.

Me:
Oh, um..you see my husband does all that, so I wouldn't have a clue.

Banker:
Well, I'm sorry ma'am but I can't help you today. You'll have to call back tomorrow when you can answer those questions. OR stop by our branch and go inside to request a temporary ATM card and a new permanent one.

Me:
Thanks for nothing.

Fair enough. I'll just go inside. Well a whole day past and I didn't call the bank from home because I had every intention on going into the bank (weird I know). Proud of myself, armed with my checkbook, I head to the bank Tuesday afternoon, once again, on my way out to dinner, no time for a long drawn out convo. Just file the request, give me some cash and I'll be on my way.

So I show up in flesh and blood. I have my California Drivers License. I have my checkbook, with checks which conveniently has my name and address on them. I have a random credit card, not issued by my bank, but it also has my name on it.

First I ask for $60. Then she asks for my account number. I whip out the checkbook and ask, can you use these numbers on the bottom of the check? She says, is that your account number? I tell her, I don't know, it's your bank check, you tell me! Satisfied, she does some writing and typing.

Ok, now I'll need to see some ID she says. No problem. Hand over my handy dandy drivers license complete with a photo of yours truly. Then she asks for the ATM card. Lady, I just gave you my checkbook, why do you need the ATM card you told me to cut up two weeks ago? Then she starts with the questions...again. When was and how much was your last deposit? Blank stare. When was and how much was your last ATM transaction? Um, yeah, since I haven't had a card for two weeks, I'm not exactly sure how I'm supposed to answer that!

Then she goes on to tell me, since I don't have my ATM card she'll have to speak to a manager. What??? I have my drivers license, I answered some other, apparently easy not so-security questions, and I have a checkbook with my name and address on it. But that's not enough forms of ID. Short of a DNA sample, what else could I have possibly given her??? Are you kidding me?

She ends up giving me the $60 because it "wasn't a lot of money." but says if I need more money I'll have to bring more ID. Then she goes on to tell me she can't request a new ATM card or issue a temporary one without sitting me down with a banker. Ok, seriously, I'm late for dinner already, I don't have this kind of time today.

So I struck out again. At least I have (some) cash in my wallet but I still don't have an ATM card. Oy ve!

3 comments:

Princess Talana said...

OMG that sounds like me trying to change my name at my bank when I got married. I went down to Social Security, got my name changed there, no hassle. Went to the DMV, they issued me a new licence with my new name, no problem. Go across the street to my bank, where I was told that with my new ID, my checks, my ATM card, and the letter from Social Security changing my name was not enough proof to change my name on my account! I finally talked them into it with my marriage licence, but even that was a song and dance. However, I had enough on me to just open an account with my new name... but not to change my name!

Chipmunk Chatter said...

That is insane!! Who is your bank? I think it is time to switch!

The Mantha Family said...

What a freaking pain!!! I totally know how that goes. I hate dealing with things like that. It is the last thing you have the time or patience for, after caring for your kids all day. I think you should just take Paul's card. I'm sure you know his pin number. Then if he wants money, he can ask you. :-)